Misery
by KillerQueen82
Summary: A mash-up of Misery by Steven King and Grimmjow and Ulquiorra. Originally written in 2014! [Discontinued]


**Hi! It's me again! I watched Misery, written by Stephen King, and thought about making a parody of it, instead switch it up, with Grimmjow and Ulquiorra! Hope it doesn't suck too much, and I don't own Bleach or Misery they belong to Tite Kubo and Stephen King. R &R please!**

Ulquiorra Schiffer was the author of many books. He happened to be one of the best, most sold authors out there. He sold book after book, and no one really seemed to get tired of reading his novels. However when he was writer blocked, he always went to his favorite place to write. The Las Noches hotel in the mountains. He usually sat next to the window and watched the snow fall and thought about his life and all of those things.

But one day it was different.

Ulquiorra got in his Mustang '69 and decided to drive off. _The snow can't be that bad._ He thought as he pulled away from Las Noches. _It's really getting hard to see maybe I shouldn't have underestimated the snow._

Swerve. Left. Snow. That was all Ulquiorra saw. _Crap!_ Ulquiorra thought as he took a particularly nasty turn on an icy patch. His car immediately flipped off the road and fell into the small forest like clearing, after rolling several times, leaving Ulquiorra in an unconscious and badly wounded state.

Grimmjow hopped out of his car. He was following his favorite author when all of a sudden he swerved off the road and rolled down into a ditch. Well, now's his time to shine in the eyes of his favorite author.

Ulquiorra woke up in a warm bed. _What am I doing here? The last thing I remember is flipping off the road._ As Ulquiorra thought to himself, Grimmjow walked in.

"Hello! Mr. Schiffer!" Grimmjow exclaimed excitedly, "I'm your number one fan!"

"Hello," Ulquiorra murmured, he was tired and wanted to rest in sleep's warm embrace. He was aching all over and his body from the thigh down hurt to high heaven.

"Here, I made some food for you, and here are your pills," Grimmjow said handing the man the plate of food that he had prepared. He slipped the pills into Ulquiorra's mouth and gave him a drink from the glass of water that he was holding.

"Pain killers," Grimmjow explained, "I used to be a doctor, so I was able to patch you up pretty well."

"Thank you," Ulquiorra mumbled wearily before drifting off to sleep again.

"Sleep well, sweetheart," Grimmjow said walking off with the food tray in hand. This was simply fantastic! His favorite author off all time, and the creator of the Misery series was in his gust bedroom! Now he only wished that he would never leave.

Ulquiorra woke up again. Only to find that man by his side again.

"Oh, you're awake!" Grimmjow squealed, ok not exactly squealed but the closest thing to a squeal he could manage. "Here are you're pills I hope you don't hurt to bad."

"No, no I'm fine," Ulquiorra reassured him, "Did you find my leather bag?"

"You mean this?" Grimmjow asked holding up the bag in question.

"Yes, thank god (Aizen) it's safe." Ulquiorra let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"If I may ask sir what's in it?" Grimmjow asked curiously really hoping he could look inside.

"Well usually, I only let my editor, my agent, and people who save me out a frozen car look at it…" Ulquiorra implied.

"Oh My God (Aizen)! Are you seriously going to let me read this!?" Grimmjow questioned, then he remembered the famous quote, 'Never ask something you don't want tot know the answer to.'

"Of course! You saved my life, so I owe you something in return, Mr. Um…" Ulquiorra left off as he had no clue what the man who saved his life's name was.

"Grimmjow, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez," Grimmjow said proudly, "Thank you so much sir, for letting me read this."

"Your welcome, I mean I do owe you and all. But you don't have to call me sir, it makes me feel old, call me Mr. Schiffer." Ulquiorra said smiling lightly.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Schiffer!" Grimmjow said happily prancing off, "If there's anything you need, please just tell me."

"Thank you Mr. Jaegerjaquez," Ulquiorra said waving slightly with his uninjured arm.

Grimmjow just ran up the stairs to his room where he began reading the manuscript.

"Well your wounds are getting better," Grimmjow said slightly depressed, the faster Ulquiorra healed meant the less time he got with him. "Your legs are still pretty bad though so you shouldn't try to walk too much."

"Thank you for everything Grimmjow," Ulquiorra said, "How do you find my manuscript?"

"Oh I just love it! Which one does Misery choose? Ian or Winspear?" Grimmjow asked excitedly. (Sorry I don't remember the second guy's name).

"You'll just have to find out later," Ulquiorra said with a sly grin.

"But, there's one problem," Grimmjow said with a suddenly stern look on his face. "The swearing, why is there so much?"

"Well you know that's kind of how I grew up," Ulquiorra admitted, it was true he had learned from living a poor lifestyle as a child.

"Well but you don't go to the store and go like 'I'm going to buy some effing food' or I don't go to the bank and say 'I'm just going to deposit this bastard check'." Grimmjow spat out angrily. His hand shaking the bowl of soup he had in his hand. "YOU JUST DON'T DO THAT! I WANT YOU TO CHANGE THAT!" His hand continued to shake and spill soup as Ulquiorra shook at the yelling.

"Ok, ok, I'll change it!" Ulquiorra said shielding his face.

"Look what you made me do," Grimmjow said looking disgusted as he walked off towards the kitchen to clean up.

 _How am I going to survive this?_ Ulquiorra thought the intense pain in his legs returning.

"HOW COULD YOU!?" Grimmjow burst in one afternoon, "How could you kill Misery?!"

Ulquiorra started shaking again as Grimmjow grabbed a chair and lifted it up over his head, "How could you kill her!?" Grimmjow screamed, "Why? Why did you kill Misery?!"

"Well you see, back in the 19th century lots of women died in child-birth," Ulquiorra tried to explain to his raging fan.

"YOU KILLED HER!" Grimmjow screamed breaking the chair against the wall, "YOU KILLED MISERY!"

"I didn't kill her, she just, died," Ulquiorra shielded his face from a raging Grimmjow.

"Ok, ok," Grimmjow said calmly making Ulquiorra nervous, "I'm sorry Mr. Schiffer." Grimmjow left the room.

 _Thank god he didn't take it any further than that_ Ulquiorra thought as he let sleep claim him once again, that whole Misery ordeal had been very dramatic.

End of Part 1, Stay tuned for part 2! Soon to be released!

 **So how was it? Not to bad I hope. I got tired of writing which is why it's split into part 2. But there will probably be a part 3 for the end. You know Beginning, Middle, End? Well I guess this was Beginning with benefits! You know like Friends with Benefits? Well please R &R if you read the authors note, or if you don't. But tell me if it's too bad, or etc. Once again I have no claim over Misery: Stephen King Movie Rendition of Misery: William Goldman Bleach: Tite Kubo. ~82 out~!**


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